Current mood:

drained

Pictures of happiness
I pulled out a picture of the boy of my dreams
I held it up and there you were
The eyes, the nose, the heart, the vision
It was all there
And what am I to you?
A 3 out of 10 maybe
and i might be exagerating
because i've already crushed myself enough
there is not much worse than meeting the perfect fit
and then realizing they would have to settle to be with you


I pulled out a picture of the perfect family
it's never looked anything like you
i've loved you so much and you've taken care of me well
but now i feel so painful inside
because you are dying and you can't even tell
you couldn't see the right thing if it kicked you in the head
in fact it has many times and you just rebelled instead
i fear i do the same thing and its partly your fault
why is it so hard to give up your hell?
why can't you love me by taking care of yourself?

I pulled out that picture I save for the hard times
the picture of jesus holding my hand
"I wish this didn't hurt so bad. I wish there was no pain":
That is the phrase my face seems to convey
then i looked at your love, compassion and grace
i saw all the answers right on your face:

"I've never let you go, and I love them more than you do. I want what's best for those you love. I want what's best for YOU. Don't be so laden. Don't harbor doubt. The love that I have has never worn out. I'll give patience, enough for each day. And we'll both pray to our Father that the people we love, will someday love us the same."